Completed 15 Dec 2010

Greetings and welcome... It's been several months since my last "Relationship Series" blog, having dedicated most of my writing and poetry specifically to the topic of Twin Souls. This particular entry is one that I had posted back in April and deactivated it to make modifications that I am just now getting around to doing. As always, it is my intention to provide my readers with more than information! My goal is to REACH OUT and stimulate "Thought Processes" that result in an increase of "Working Knowledge" of the topics I address.

To the potential in each human life as it ripples from its origin... may the waters be clear in the learning, and the currents warm with love and grace.
Truly, Thomas

The goal of this first entry on love and human aesthetics will be to lay the groundwork toward understanding physical beauty as it pertains to contemporary human behavior in a spiritual context. Contained within this format, significant emphasis will be placed on both positive and negative aspects of the conversation. Ultimately, my objective will be to show that through a greater understanding of this complicated issue, we can maximize the positives and grow past many of the associated negative manifestations; manifestations that stifle progress, create confusion, destroy relationships and block loving intimacy for many loving caring people who just want to be happy. The culmination of the listed resource links along with the authors mentioned aid me in providing the comprehensive framework intended to meet this issue at the Soul level...

My first mention is to that of Caroline Myss' work with archetypes and sacred contracts. Her work has impacted the lives of millions of people including my own. Her books and center-stage working models are life-changing tools. Tools that provide a powerful understanding that teaches us how to deal with the most intricate complexities of daily life!! I have studied the materials of several people I consider to be my spiritual masters--- Caroline's models are among the most powerful I've come across--- they will be explained and used foundationally within this conversation... Gary Zukav's work with the Earth School metaphor also fits well.

As I move through this study it will be important to have a basic understanding of Archetypes and Sacred Contracts. In short, a Contract is the Soul work or spiritual evolution we agreed to engage mastery over before we came to inhabit the bodies we now live in. I discussed this concept in length when I talked about Gary Zukav's Earth School earlier this year in another blog: ( http://heartsseeker22.blogspot.com/2010/02/knowing-ones-place-in-continuum-of.html ). An Archetype is a template or Code of your spiritual DNA. Just think of it as the language of the SOUL or those things in life that you attract (positive or negative) that are in the ALWAYS category. In regard to aesthetics and human beauty, many people who have archetypes that resonate deeply with the subject will just identify naturally; in other words, they resonate because its in their spiritual DNA.

By taking the time to not only gain an understanding of the subject matter, but also expand that understanding as it interacts with the DNA strands of our SOUL, that is, through understanding our archetypes, we not only help ourselves, but we move toward a spiritual wholeness that moves beyond the five senses...

From a physical plane perspective, I have read and would agree that we are ALL ARTISTS in some way, which means that unless we are on some kind of life support with no brain activity, we have a measure of aesthetic taste. In regard to so called "human beauty," it is no social secret that tall handsome articulate men and women who reflect "Hollywood standards" receive more opportunities for advancement in "The Corporate World." As we see in the documentary "America the Beautiful" by Darryl Roberts, much of the human "PSYCHE" regarding beauty and human aesthetics is out-of-balance...

http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darryl-roberts/the-ugly-truth-about-amer_b_121153.html

So if you've taken the time to digest the gist of Darryl's work, I ask, where does human beauty find balance in the contemporary global community? I don't believe Darryl Roberts or anyone else would advocate that an artist learn to paint without color. Furthermore, I believe that there is more than one side of the issue here. In other words, it could be inferred that Darryl Roberts is indicating that ALL women who wear make-up are doing so as a result of negative influences that directly effect their decision making. To put it in an exaggerated sentence... "women wear make-up because they are not emotionally, or psychologically strong enough to go without it."

I agree with much of what Darryl is doing, and I do support his efforts; however, I am also saying that viewers of his material may have cause for an opposing view... For me, I believe that many of the negatives Darryl points out are serious issues of great social importance, especially for our youth, but I also strongly believe that there are some women who actually like to wear make-up. That said, I do recommend watching Darryl's documentary prefaced with the comment that as both an artist and a naturalist, it makes no difference to me if a woman wears make-up or not. I find equal beauty in both... On a personal note, the woman I was married to for 29 years never wore makeup a day in her life--- it remains to this day one of the things I respect most about her because it was HER decision!! Everything circles back to personal preference, and at the end of the day, whether man or woman, true beauty comes ONLY from within...

Ok, so what can we learn about beauty from a historical context? Currently, I am working my way through Homer's Iliad which was venerated by the ancient Greeks. The words and phrasing that Homer uses in describing both men and women of beauty is really no different then the words or phrasing that we use today. To illustrate this point, take a look at the link below; these stories are from ancient China. In contemplation, I think you will agree that for the most part, things have not changed much...
http://www.chinatown-online.com/cultureeye/common/four.htm

We are all somewhere on the scale of aesthetic taste, and IT JUST IS WHAT IT IS!!!!!! The balance is in YOU and its in ME. From what I have discovered so far in my search for balance, it seems that there are just some people that are more aesthetically "Connected" than other's. Does that make connecting or not connecting--- one better than the other? Of course not!! If someone is an expert linguist, wine taster, musician with exquisite talent putting them in a 2% category of God given emotional "connection" does that make them better or worse than the other 98%? We all know the answer, and as we ponder that point, I want to merge the answer into Caroline Myss' model of archetypes in order to connect both the spiritual and human elements...

In one of the links below ("I love my husband, but I'm not attracted to him), there is a woman who deeply respects her husband, but he is not fulfilling her needs, and because she is becoming less physically attracted to him, she is finding her mind fantasizing about other men (see Dr. Saltzman link). My point in mentioning this particular story is to begin to connect aesthetics to relationships and archetypes. As you will see from this story, she loves her husband but she is just unhappy and deeply unfulfilled. There seems to be a connection (more study needed) to the strength / measure of one's libido to the human aesthetic connection; what I believe is needed (present company included) is a level of spiritual awareness / equanimity that equips the individual for emotional and psychological balance. Caroline's (as well as Gary Zukav') models / applied disciplines---- pave the way...

Using Caroline's model of "Contracts" toward this unhappy couple, we could look at the possibility that the negatives manifested by their lack of intimacy are "opportunities" to grow spiritually. In other words, they would have set up this arrangement prior to being born in order to learn a lesson, or master an important life-lesson that goes beyond ego, and powerful primal instincts. We could also say that the life-lesson that was set up was that of this woman finding her own power which may result in her leaving the relationship. There could be a number of different scenarios. Within my beloved studies of Twin-Souls, it would imply the idea of a karmic relationship. Regardless of the "Contractual Agreement," it would ALWAYS (in the threesome of Caroline Myss, Gary Zukav and Twin Soul spirituality) mean opportunity for personal empowerment and spiritual growth!

To expand the conversation further, I would like to now focus on two words; the first is the Greek word Pronesis, and the second, the Navajo word, Hozho. Pronesis is a word we studied in philosophy. Metaphorically, it describes someone who does the right thing at the right time, under the right circumstances, and for the right reasons... Secondly, the Navajo word Hozho came to my awareness just this morning from Ruth Gendler's book I started reading called "Notes on the Need for Beauty: An Intimate Look at an Essential Quality." Ruth illustrates to that "hozho, translated into English as 'beauty,' also means harmony, wholeness, goodness" (Gendler 7).

Additionally, in regard to being responsible in human relationships Don Miguel Ruiz talks about this in his book "The Mastery of Love." He candidly discusses the ethical dynamics associated with walking away, the rewards of staying, and the responsibilities of being true to yourself and honoring/respecting your partner, dynamics which are at the heart of many of our "Earth-Bound" relationships. As an expansion of the spiritual component of this conversation, I specifically mention Earth-Bound relationships, to illustrate our status of eternal SOULS in Earth-Bound bodies. If we could magically eliminate ALL of the negativity that comes with being human (i.e., judgements of self and others saturated with clouded vision precipitated by social conditioning, ego and delayed spiritual healing...), we would not be having this discussion; however, that is not the case.

It remains then that after we absorb the whole of this conversation that the hard questions are not easily answered; questions such as, where is the balance between actions based on reason and respect, and actions based in fear? Where do the tragedies end? What are the responsibilities we have as individuals? What are the inherent human tendencies associated with aesthetics? The following links will help me further illustrate some of the groundwork to the answers. I think you will find Dr. Saltzman's work of particular significance with his contributions on understanding the limitations of the "English" word LOVE!!

Note: It is my belief that each of us wants and deserves to be shown compassion and cared for as individuals. Personally, as a young boy, I watched my mother wilt away from being a beautiful woman, to skin and bones before she succumbed to her disease. I mention this, because I believe that two of the archetypes I've been dealing with as an adult are the wounded and the abandoned child. To help myself and others further, my future entries on the topic of human love and aesthetics will continue to integrate more dialog from teachers, healers, and other professionals who have made an impact toward human awareness, and the spiritual / philosophical psychology of understanding wholeness in relationships. This awareness and wholeness I speak of is one that incorporates the basic human concepts that, "at the end of the day" we ALL just want to be loved because the universe is LOVE, and that its not JUST about physical AESTHETICS and Hormones!! I look forward to continuing the discussion... Love and Blessings, Thomas

"Can a relationship work if you're not attracted to your partner? Can you still be in love with him/her?"
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/63251

"Looking Good: The Psychology and Biology of Beauty"
http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume6/issue6/features/feng.html

"Why I Hate Beauty" From Psychology Today:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200107/why-i-hate-beauty

what-is-ugly

"I love my husband but I am not attracted to him" From Ask dr-robert:
http://askdrrobert.dr-robert.com/sex%20v.%20love.html

"ask dr-robert"--a psychologist replies to questions about problems in living--hosted by Dr. Robert Saltzman, Ph.D.

Authors mentioned and their websites
Caroline Myss: http://www.myss.com/
Gary Zukav: http://garyzukav.wwwhubs.com/
don Miguel Ruiz: http://www.miguelruiz.com/
Ruth Gendler: http://www.ruthgendler.com/

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