Beyond the Paradigm: Understanding Intimate Relationships: March 2010

Expanded 3/31/10

Over the years during the course of topical and casual discussion, I've been told by more than one person: "You think too much!" Well, I admit that there are probably not very many people in the world who have been known to create personal "life journals" complete with categorical indexes and marker tabs... Go ahead and chuckle, I don't mind; God knows I've become accustom to being grouped into the category called "different." Effectively, I will then let this entry stand as another categorical marker tab in my ongoing collection of topical information on relationships, and the study/belief systems of those who have come before us/dwell with us...

On Friday evening 3/26 while I was listening to my new audio book "Even the Stars Look Lonesome" by Maya Angelou, my thoughts drifted back to Composition 100 where we were introduced to various authors in our reading/writing assignments. One of my favorites was/is Willa Cather; our professor told us that there are few authors who capture and articulate the true essence of "life" in their writing, and that Willa was one of the finest. "My point is that I have now added Maya Angelou to my personal list of authors who have been given the wonderful gift and ability of touching our lives through their writing (hearing her read the book is wonderful too); the last time I was privileged to tap-in to this marvelous resonance was when I read Lauren Slater's incredible book "Welcome to My Country: A therapist's memoir of madness." A bit of a deviation from the main topic, but I do recommend the readings...

So, on to the task of explaining the connection here between my new audio book to this entry: Well, late last week when I emotionally removed one of my blogs for modification, I had done so with the belief that I had written too close to the line of my level of "acceptability in sharing." Specifically, information pertaining to other people that is not mine to share; again, I apologize for what I perceive to be a crossing of that line, and what Aristotle would call a crossing of the mean. Actually, at that particular moment, I wondered if it would be best to just delete this whole blog thing and get on with expressing myself in other ways. You see, the air had been getting heavy with emotion earlier in the week with a certain date on the calendar getting closer to me with each passing hour; a historically significant date that marked a pivotal time in my spiritual/relational life! As the week wore on I found myself sinking deeper into its grasp of loneliness. The significance of Maya's audio book was that the thought ( the idea) of listening to it was popping into my consciousness simultaneously with another recurring thought that had been following me during the day; that being the idea of stopping at the liquor store on the way home from work to get a bottle of something to ease the pain. For a time, it seemed a toss-up as to which contestant for my attention would win out, the bottle, my continued loneliness, or the audio book.

Now I should probably mention having written the last couple of sentences, that the amount of alcohol consumed within the confines of this home since I began keeping my own company last summer (first two days alone excluded, then the drain in the kitchen sink took over consumption duties) would hardly be enough to fill a thimble, and I don't do the bar scene (having spent much of my youth on a bar stool along side my late father); therefore, it remains speculative at best as to the probability of my actually stopping the car to purchase another $100.00 bottle of scotch; the remainder of which found its way down that kitchen drain along with several subordinates some months ago... Now as far as my week was concerned, if a category could be created called "an emotionally taxing week" and then a measurement could be assigned to it in terms of effect, mine would have qualified for measurement! Of course, instead of listening to the audio book, there were a hundred and one other things I could have done with my time, but the situational dynamics between the emotions, the audio book, and the bottle became illuminated as a moment of personal clarity and decision. It was one of those moments where you know that you alone are the one who has to choose, and that choice has been given to you from somewhere within your spirit; call it divine illumination, call it "been down that road before", call it, you've handled it this far, you can make it, call it the influence of an angel, or perhaps a prayer from some unknown source...

The point in the "story" shall we say, is that in the process of choosing/listening to Maya's story, I was able to find a much needed/desired dose of encouragement and direction. Listening to Maya read about the ups and downs of her life did not make my loneliness go away, but it did help put things in perspective. She is a tremendously articulate and passionate person, and I am blessed for having had the opportunity to share my evening with her. As a byproduct, I've also chosen to stay the course of blogging as well. Now for those who have been following me with any regularity, my revision process is sometimes several days before I feel I have captured the "essence" of what I want to illustrate, so I appreciate your patience with my subtle and sometimes not so subtle revisions.

I have co-titled this particular blog entry "Introduction to the term Twin Flames" as another categorical component within the Romantic Relationship realm. As always, woven into any of the topics I choose to illustrate, I seek a greater understanding of the information. In the case of the soul-mate/twin-flame elemental content, I am a relative newcomer by virtually ALL accounts. Having said this, and having done my preliminary research on the topic, I stand absolutely "AMAZED" that not one of the people I have come in contact with over these last several years, i.e., those who I know have studied a multitude of esoteric beliefs had not apparently either heard of, or mentioned to me something as categorically significant as the phrase twin-flames!! Equally amazing is the fact that I had never heard of it in my personal studies until just recently when I came across the term while googling research on "soul-mates." But it was not until a couple of days ago when I actually started researching the topic that I began to realize something very powerful was unfolding! Now it would be fair to say that most people have used the term soul-mate on a social level, but "most people", like myself, possess only the surface knowledge that comes with the term. That's why I love research, it is a learning tool all in itself, and every once in a while you come across a gold nugget. Now I know what an archaeologist must feel like when they find an artifact, and based on what I have discovered in my preliminary studies of the topic, my words are not spoken lightly!

This concept is beyond incredible!! Even a surface adhering to the inherent meaning of this belief system would mean a significant restructuring of what a "spiritually conscious" person would want to achieve in a relationship, or at the very least, the illumination of what they are suppose to achieve (Soul work) in the one they are in! Even from a conceptual standpoint, the personal responsibility/phronesis, and personal growth potential involved within the Twin-flame "mindset" would yield the power to solve a multitude of global social issues, and would probably cut the divorce rate in half!

The Twin-flames concept certainly fits well with the teachings of Gary Zukav and Linda Francis in their book "Heart of the Soul." Needless to say, the concept now has my attention, and without a doubt warrants further research. I look forward to understanding the historical components of the concept; indeed, this will also fit nicely into my ongoing study of Aristotle's "ethics."

In keeping with my commitment to provide depth and diversity, the following links provide a variation of thought: